By MELANIE BRAVERMAN

Holly Wales

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“Are you going to have more babies in your belly?”

“You know I’ve never had any babies in my belly,” I tell him.

“Well, whose belly did I come out of?” he says.

My girlfriend, Molly, and I have always been frank about the fact that Jonah and his brother, Sam, were adopted, though until recently they’ve really only shown interest in the few details that feel glamorous: for instance, Jonah enjoys knowing that he was born on an island. The rest of how the kids came to us is so complex and adult, we’ve so far opted to leave it alone.

Scratch the surface and nobody’s birth story is typical. Our two children are biological brothers, and they have an older sister a friend of ours adopted first. Because of her special relationship to the boys, Sister plays a starring role in our house. Looking at the three of them leaves little doubt they’re related: ignore the height difference, and they could almost pass for triplets. A few days earlier we were having a bonfire at the beach. It was one of those ridiculously idyllic summer evenings at the seaside, replete with rainbows and a dolphin release the kids ran down to see. On the way back to the fire, Jonah tripped, catapulting him into a flood of tears. Sister grew more agitated the louder he wailed. Finally, in some kind of attempt to shut him up, she turned to him and said, “You didn’t come out of your mommy’s belly.”

“Now isn’t the time for this conversation,” Molly told her.

“You didn’t,” Sister continued, “you came out of the same belly as me. Her name was Cheri.” For Jonah, that belly never had a name before. That name was so revelatory you could almost see a light bulb in a thought bubble hovering above Jonah’s head. He began crying louder.

To Molly and me, our children are so completely ours it feels impossible that anyone else had anything to do with them. But for Jonah, who knows? Some would say, for example, that it was the hand of God that saved his namesake, the original Jonah, from the belly of the whale; others, that it was luck that caused the beast to spit him out.

So here I am in the bed with our youngest boy, telling him the truth as I see it: “Some babies come out of their mommies, and some come through other bodies to get to their mommies. My body couldn’t make babies, so we had to find another way to get you here.” I’ve told him this before, but the story no longer satisfies the way it once did. He may be only 5, but it’s time for Jonah to begin making his own version of the narrative.

“Whose belly?” he demands.

“Her name was Cheri,” I say, affirming it for him.

“I should be there with her,” he says.

I take a breath. “No,” I tell him. “Wherever Sam and your other mommy and I are, that’s where your home is. That’s where you should be.” And in a sure sign he knows that what he’s hearing is correct, he begins to cry hard.

In a little while I feel him exhale long and slow, his back relaxing against my hands that are holding him in place like bookends: Your body begins here, and it ends here. You are safe. By now he’s exhausted, but he’s too smart to take my word for anything yet. “What if you and Mommy and Sam get dead and I’m left here all alone?” he says.

Even though I can’t say for sure, I opt for kindness over stark possibility, which I maintain is every parent’s prerogative. “Not gonna happen,” I tell him. And he falls asleep.

For days after, Jonah vacillated between being demonstrative and being withdrawn, all the thinking about his origins rendering him tender, as if from sunburn. The summer carried on in its relentless perfection. We were on the beach the other day when I overheard him tell a friend, “I was born on an island, you know.”

“Really?” the friend said.

“Yes,” Jonah said, “and they weren’t my mommies,” pointing like a hitchhiker with his thumb to Molly and me.

“So how’d you get here?” his friend asked.

“I swam a hundred miles to get home,” he said.

Melanie Braverman, a poet and novelist, is the Jacob Ziskind poetry fellow at Brandeis University.

http://www.pbs.org/pov/adoption/

POV (Point of View) is featuring three films about adoption and launching a national public awareness campaign to explore the challenges of adoptees forging new identities while holding on to their cultural and racial identities, and of parents helping their adopted children make sense of their new lives.

August 31: Wo Ai Ni (I Love You) Mommy by Stephanie Wang-Breal
September 7: Off and Running by Nicole Opper
September 14: In the Matter of Cha Jung Hee by Deann Borshay Liem

Help to spread the word about these broadcasts airing on PBS in just a couple of weeks!

1. You can post the trailer on your site or use graphics on your blog or Facebook page: http://www.pbs.org/pov/adoption/promote.php

2. Host screenings, or night of broadcast parties. Simply register in our community network and we’ll loan you a copy of the film for free! http://www.pbs.org/pov/outreach.

3. Sign up for our Adoption Stories Mailing List: http://www.pbs.org/pov/adoption/email.php where you will receive periodic updates, news of special events and information about our public awareness campaign.

This campaign affords a unique opportunity to expand public dialogue, engage key constituencies around adoption issues, and dispel some common myths and misconceptions about adoption and adoptive families.

San Francisco, CA

August 14-15th

http://www.pistahan.net/

Download Promotional Kit | Press Release | Watch Pistahan Commercial | Get Involved!

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Tuttle Publishing: Unparalleled Marketplace for Filipino Children’s Books & Educational Tagalog Language Materials

Editorial Note: Award-winning author Norma Olizon-Chikiamco is available for media interviews.

January 25, 2010

NORTH CLARENDON, Vt. — (U.S. ASIAN WIRE) — Tuttle Publishing, a leader in English language books on and about Asia for over 60 years, is proud to present children’s books and language materials depicting the rich, cultural diversity of the Filipino heritage. Tuttle Publishing’s unparalleled marketplace offers an extensive catalogue with an array of delightful Filipino stories and titles for children of all ages featuring award-winning Filipino authors and illustrators.

“Tuttle Publishing recognizes the importance of reaching out to the millions of Filipino heritage learners in this country, and maintains a commitment to producing quality, authentic books to serve their needs. Through children’s books, cookbooks, language learning books and many others, Tuttle continues to celebrate and support the strengths that the Filipino American community brings to us all.”-Christopher Johns, Sales and Marketing Director, Tuttle Publishing.

Pan de Sal Saves the Day, an inspiring tale written by award-winning author Norma Olizon-Chikiamco with colorful illustrations by Mark Salvatus, tells the story of a shy girl with very low self-esteem but when an unexpected event occurs Pan de Sal greatly triumphs, winning the admiration of her classmates and most importantly herself. Pan de Sal Saves the Day took first place in the most prestigious literary competition in the Philippines, the Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards for Literature.
Price: $12.95
Illustrations: Full-color

In the age-old tradition of teaching language through rhyme and verse, author Liana Romulo presents My First Book of Tagalog Words and introduces the National language of the Philippines and culture to preschool children in a playful and non-intimidating way. Bold and bright illustrations by award-winning artist Jaime Laurel are featured.
Price: $12.95
Illustrations: Full-color

Filipino Friends, written by Liana Romulo with illustrations by artist Corazon Dandan-Albano, is a delightful story told through the eyes of Sam, a Filipino-American boy visiting the Philippines for the very first time. Soft, whimsical watercolors labeled with English words and Filipino translations bring to light the differences between western and Philippine lifestyles.
Price: $15.95
Illustrations: Full-color

Filipino Children’s Favorite Stories is a must-have collection of beloved tales retold by author Liana Romulo and beautifully illustrated by award-winning artist Joanne De Leon. This wonderful compilation of classic myths from the Philippines captivates the hearts of children of all ages worldwide. From “The Prince’s Bride” to “The Magic Lake” to “The Deer and the Snail” the classic Filipino children�s stories have amused, inspired, and taught millions of children throughout the centuries with poignant, universal life lessons.
Price: $18.95
Illustrations: Full-Color

In addition to Tuttle’s outstanding catalogue of fine children�s books, Tuttle offers supplemental Tagalog language-learning materials perfect for home or classroom use.Tagalog for Kids Flash Cards by Imelda Fines Gasmen is an excellent way to introduce young children to the National language of the Philippines, and the most commonly used Southeast Asian language in the U.S. Kids build their vocabulary by learning everyday, commonly used words, sentences and songs. Tagalog for Kids Flash Cards comes complete with 64 flash cards, audio CD, wall chart and educational guide for parents and teachers, a fun and kid-friendly way to learn!
Price: $19.95
Illustrations: 64 cards; audio CD; 16-pp. booklet & color wall chart

These books, and all titles available from Tuttle Publishing, can be purchased online at our website, www.tuttlepublishing.com, www.amazon.com and at fine retailers everywhere.

About Tuttle Publishing

Tuttle Publishing, a member of the Periplus Publishing Group, was founded by Charles E. Tuttle (1915-1993) in Tokyo in 1948. His mission was to publish “books to span the East and West.” With offices in North Clarendon, Vermont; Singapore; Tokyo and Jakarta, Tuttle Publishing has become the largest English-language book publishing and distribution company in Asia.

In 2009, Kevin L. Nadal launched his first book, Filipino American Psychology: A Handbook of Theory, Research, and Clinical Practice. The book offers a comprehensive look at the psyche of Filipino Americans.This book is the first of its kind and aims to promote visibility of this invisible group, so that 2.4 million Filipino Americans will have their voices heard.

Filipino American Psychology: A Collection of Personal Narratives is a sequel to Nadal’s first textbook and is a compilation of 35 stories relating to the various concepts involving Filipino American Psychology. I was very fortunate to offer my personal narrative in Nadal’s latest book. My personal narrative is “Fil-Am Ako: The Battle for Identity,” which is a look back at my life growing up in the states as a Filipino immigrant facing racism and adversity in a town that only wanted me to assimilate to Western culture.   The book will soon be available on amazon, borders, and barnesandnoble.com, and hopefully will make it to a store near you.

ABOUT THE BOOK:
Filipino Americans are projected to become the largest Asian American population by 2010. As the second largest immigrant group in the country, there are approximately 3 million documented and undocumented Filipino Americans in the US. Filipino Americans are unique in many ways. They are descendants of the Philippines, a country that was colonized by Spain for over three centuries and by the US for almost 50 years. They are the only ethnic group that has been categorized as Asian American, Pacific Islander, Hispanic, and even as their own separate ethnicity. Because of diverse phenotypes, they are often perceived as being Asian, Latino, multiracial, and others. And contrary to the Model Minority Myth, Filipino Americans have experienced several health, psychological, and educational disparities, including lower college graduation rates and higher levels of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, obesity, teen pregnancy, HIV/AIDS, substance abuse, depression, and suicide.

Despite these disparaging statistics, Filipino Americans have made significant contributions to the US, ever since their first arrivals in October 1587- from their involvement in the United Farmworkers Movement to their roles in hip-hop culture and their presence in medicine, education, and the arts. However, Filipino Americans have also been referred to as the “Forgotten Asian Americans” because of their invisibility in mainstream media, academia, and politics. Filipino American Psychology: A Collection of Personal Narratives offers an intimate look at the lives of Filipino Americans through stories involving ethnic identity, colonial mentality, cultural conflicts, and experiences with gender, sexual orientation, and multiraciality. Writers courageously address how they cope with mental health issues-including depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress, and suicide. Theories and concepts from the book’s predecessor, Filipino American Psychology: A Handbook of Theory, Research, and Clinical Practice can be applied through the voices of a diverse collection of Filipino Americans.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Kevin Leo Yabut Nadal, Ph.D., is a professor, psychologist, performer, activist, and author, who received his doctorate in counseling psychology from Columbia University. As an assistant professor of psychology and mental health counseling at John Jay College of Criminal Justice- City University of New York, he has published several works focusing on Filipino American, ethnic minority, and LGBTQ issues in the fields of psychology and education. In 2007, he led a vast international campaign against ABC Studios for the negative statements made about Filipino medical schools on the television show “Desperate Housewives.” A California-bred New Yorker, Kevin is also a part-time comedian and spoken word artist who has performed across the United States since 2000. He was named one of People Magazine’s hottest bachelors in 2006, he was a guest on Fox News Channel’s “The O’Reilly Factor,” and he has been featured on PBS, The Filipino Channel, the History Channel, HGTV, Philippine News, and Filipinas Magazine.

ABOUT THE BOOK LAUNCH/ READING/ SIGNING
If you’re in the New York area, there will be book launch and reading at
John Jay College of Criminal Justice.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
6pm-9pm
445 W. 59th Street (b/w 9th and 10th)
2nd Floor Multipurpose Room
Reading promptly at 6:30pm, followed by Book Signings
Featuring Dr. Kevin Nadal and other NYC Contributors
** A limited number of books will be available for signing, so arrive early **

ORDER TODAY FROM:
http://www.authorhouse.com/Bookstore/ItemDetail.aspx?bookid=71547

Here is a 2009 interview with Kevin Nadal at Columbia College Chicago, where he explains why he decided to write Filipino American Psychology and why it is important for Filipino Americans to have their voices heard.

Being a self-proclaimed, self-taught cook (and not too well at that) and food fanatic, I almost always go to the cookbook / food section of a bookstore first. And always, Ilook at the pictures first. Iguess Ihave this (secret) obsession about food photography that aside from taste, visual has to be also a priority. This is why Iwas more than excited to help writer, photographer and graphic designer Nelson Agustin in his quest to find some yemas (those sweet and milky delicacy wrapped in colorful cellophanes) for his newest photography book, A for Adobo.
Based in Vancouver, British Columbia in Canada, Nelson graduated with honors from the University of the Philippines-College of Fine Arts and has published several photography books, most notably Bare Essentials (2007) and Edible Landscapes (2007) under his publishing house, Helios Media. However, A for Adobo is his first photography book for children.
In his book’s Introduction, Nelson tries to explain what Filipino food is all about. “One is hard put to say what it is,” he writes and added, “Perhaps the halo-halo’s tall glass of mixed sweets where East meets West in a happy rainbow of taste and color is an apt metaphor for what Philippine cooking is about.’
He also tells the truth about Filipinos, wherever they may be in the world, is likely to have rice and adobo on the stove, as well as patis (fermented fish sauce) in their pantry. Filipino food, as he simply (but truthfully) puts, “is more than just comfort food.” It is, he writes, “a celebration of who we are, as well as a survival tool for immigrants adjusting to an unfamiliar culture and environment.”
It took me five days, four Filipino stores, four taste tests, my mom, my sister and a friend to find the perfect yemas (which will survive the trip to Canada) for Nelson. When the package was finally sent, Iactually felt a weird sense of achievement knowing that in a small way, Iwas able to help.
A for Adobo is based on the modern Filipino alphabet instituted by the Philippine government in 1987, consisting of 28 letters—20 from native Filipino and eight from the Spanish alphabet. The letters C, F, J, N, Q, V, X and Z are used only in proper names and nouns, scientific and technical terms and words native to languages other than Filipino. The book also has a more detailed description of each entry that can be found in the Foodnotes section. The Filipino-English bilingual text is for the benefit of acquainting younger generations of readers with the mother tongue.

L for Lumpia

A for Adobo will have its book launching in Manila on July 19, Monday, in Seattle, Washington on July 22, Thursday at the Filipino-American National Historical Society, Seattle University from 5:30 to 8pm; and Vancouver on August 14, Saturday at St. Patrick Ground on Main Street from 9am to 4pm and a booksigning at the Manila International Bookfair from September 15-22.

For more information about A for Adobo, log on to adobo.tahananbooks.com or e-mail info@tahananbooks.comThis e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

*Photographs by Nelson Agustin

All images are from A for Adobo, (C) 2010 by Tahanan Books. Reproduced by permission from the publisher.

( www.asianjournal.com )

( Published July 9, 2010 in Something Filipino Magazine p. 2 )

At first glance the Philippine National anthem can seem very intimidating especially for someone who is not regularly exposed the the Filipino language. The more Filipino events you attend the more you will realize that one if not two anthems are traditionally sung. With constant practice it can be as easily remembered just as the anthem that you know by heart now.

Here is a video version on Youtube with lyrics that you can follow along with.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lupang_Hinirang

Filipino translation:

Bayang magiliw,
Perlas ng Silanganan
Alab ng puso,
Sa dibdib Mo’y buhay.

Lupang Hinirang,
Duyan Ka ng magiting,
Sa manlulupig,
‘Di Ka pasisiil.

Sa dagat at bundok,
Sa simoy at sa langit Mong bughaw,
May dilag ang tula,
At awit sa paglayang minamahal.

Ang kislap ng watawat Mo’y
Tagumpay na nagniningning,
Ang Bituin at Araw niya,
Kailan pa ma’y ‘di magdidilim,

Lupa ng araw, ng luwalhati’t pagsinta,
Buhay ay Langit sa piling Mo;
Aming ligaya na pag may mang-aapi,
Ang mamatay nang dahil sa ‘Yo.

Unofficial English translation:

Kokomo, Indiana

June 10, 2010

This is a one-day Filipino culture camp to be held in Kokomo, Indiana on June 12, 2010. Since 2004, parents and with Filipino volunteers from the Barangay Club of Indiana have worked together to prepare a fun-filled Filipino culture camp for families called Camp Mabuhay. Participants primarily come from Indiana, Illinois, Ohio and Kentucky. Although the camp is primarily designed for children of Filipino descent, all children are welcome to join in the fun. No prior knowledge of the Philippines is required of children or their parents. An interest in discovering Filipino culture is all that you need to have a great time at Camp Mabuhay Indiana, Inc. Activities for the day include: Traditional Dances,  Music Activities,  Language Activities,  Museum,  Art Projects,  A Filipino Meal, Cooking Lessons,  History of the Philippines, Games, Camp T-Shirt.  To learn more and to register, click on brochure.

Filipino Heritage Camp

Winter Park Mountain Lodge, Colorado

July 15-17, 2010

” NO history, NO self, KNOW history, KNOW self: Honoring Filipino Americans”

2010 is a U.S. Census year and the Filipino American community is anticipated to become the first largest Asian American group, surpassing the Chinese Americans. The U.S. Census reported in 2007 that 3.1 million Filipinos reside in America and 80% of Filipino Americans are U.S. citizens. Also in 2007, the U.S. Census reported the Filipino American community to be 4 million or 1.5% of the U.S. population.

Who are the Notable Filipino Americans? What have been their contributions?

This year’s Filipino Heritage Camp, you will learn about the rich history of Filipinos in America that date as far back as 1587 to present day. The workshops and activities will focus on prominent Filipino Americans in the various industries such as entertainment, science, education, sports, medicine and arts. There will also be educational and fun workshops that will look at music, art, dance, history and games that celebrate our Filipino American heritage.

The elementary workshops will include sessions on:
• Filipino/American history
• Craft projects
• discovering love of Filipino music, and dance,
• entertainment and games!

There is specialized programming for our middle and high school aged campers, including:
• Learning about our Filipino American history
• “Survivor Philippines”
• Filipinos in the music industry
• Babayin – the ancient Filipino sanskrit
• “More than Me” project, partner organization to be announced. For more on this trademark Colorado Heritage Camps project, click here:

Workshops for Parents will include;
• The popular cooking classes,
• Adoptee panel,
• An overview of the history of Filipinos in America
• Parent run workshops

The Filipino-American Community of Colorado (FACC) will be celebrating their 10th year volunteering with FHC. The members have had an invaluable role with the camp over the years providing a connection to our Filipino culture by teaching us about culture, cuisine, dance, music and history of the Philippines.

For more information contact: filipino.h.camp@gmail.com or visit the FHC site

Camp Mabuhay North 2010

Friday, September 24 to Sunday, September 26th

Camp Woodstock, a YMCA camp – Woodstock Valley, Connecticut.

http://www.afteryouadopt.org/campmabuhaynorth/

The theme of this year’s camp will be: “Beautiful People, Beautiful Islands: the Philippines.”  It will feature some families who have recently returned to the Philippines for their children to visit and tour their homeland: The Lewis and Andrews families went over in February, another family is there right now, for the second time, and  2 other families are currently making plans to go over this summer. So, you will hear from the parents and children all about their exciting experiences!

We have reserved the weekend of September 24-26, 2010 at Camp Woodstock. Camp would start on Friday night (6:30p.m.) and run through Sunday afternoon(2:00). The cost would be @ $100 per person. This cost includes 2 nights of lodging, 6 meals, full use of the camp facilities, equipment, activities: kayaking, canoeing, hiking, swimming, fishing, basketball courts, climbing walls, etc. YMCA staff would run some of the activities, CMN volunteers would do the cooking and run other activities.

Please let us know if this is a possibility for your family. We hope you can make it.

For additional information, please contact Bunny Lewis at bunnylew@comcast.net (860) 219-9573.

Words not only convey facts, they also evoke feelings.  When a TV movie talks about a “custody battle” between “real parents” and “other parents,” society gets the wrong impression that only birthparents are real parents and that adoptive parents aren’t real parents.  Members of society may also wrongly conclude that all adoptions are “battles.”

Positive adoption language can stop the spread of misconceptions such as these.  By using positive adoption language, we educate others about adoption.  We choose emotionally “correct” words over emotionally-laden words.  We speak and write in positive adoption language with the hopes of impacting others so that this language will someday become the norm.

Positive Language                           Negative Language
Birthparent                                       Real parent
Biological parent                             Natural parent
Birth child                                        Own child
My child Adopted child;                Own child
Born to unmarried parents           Illegitimate
Terminate parental rights             Give up
Make an adoption plan                  Give away
To parent                                          To keep
Waiting child                                   Adoptable child; available child
Biological or birthfather               Real father
Making contact with                      Reunion
Parent                                               Adoptive parent
Intercountry adoption                  Foreign adoption
Adoption triad                                Adoption triangle
Permission to sign a release        Disclosure
Search                                              Track down parents
Child placed for adoption            An unwanted child
Court termination                         Child taken away
Child with special needs              Handicapped child
Child from abroad                         Foreign child
Was adopted                                   Is adopted

hosted by Adoption Rhode Island and ACONE-RI

May 22, 2010

11:00am-2:30pm

@ Adoption Rhode Island

Workshop title: Guess Who?! – Public Figures that have been Adopted and in Foster Care

They walk among us, we see them on t.v., we hear them on the radio and some are huge pop icons. Who are these people? What are they best known for?

This workshops aims to give an educational and fun twist to identify and explore which people have been adopted (international/domestic) or been in foster care. We will play a guessing game to test your knowledge. You may be surprised by some of the names and hopefully will walk away from the workshop realizing the impact adoption and foster care has had with many blended families in the U.S.!

We will also discuss the importance of having positive role models in our lives and brain storm what makes a good role model.

——————————————————————————————————————

Join us for a powerful workshop as industry professionals lead us for a day of reflection, introspection and sharing. ACONE-RI and Adoption Rhode Island offering this conference on Saturday, May 22nd from 11:00am-2:30pm, at Adoption Rhode Island. Registration is required and all teens attending must have an adult present for the entire event. For more information and/or to register please click here.

Teen Conference – “My Family, My World, My Self ” brochure