Adoptive Families Magazine: Positive Adoption Language

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Reprinted from OURS Magazine, May/June 1992 www.adoptivefamilies.com
Positive Adoption Language
The way we talk—and the words we choose—say a lot about what we think and value.  When we use
positive adoption language, we say that adoption is a way to build a family just as birth is.  Both are important, but one is not more important than the other. Choose the following positive adoption language instead of the negative talk that helps perpetuate the myth that adoption is second best.  By using positive adoption language, you’ll reflect the true nature of adoption, free of innuendo.

Words not only convey facts, they also evoke feelings.  When a TV movie talks about a “custody battle” between “real parents” and “other parents,” society gets the wrong impression that only birthparents are real parents and that adoptive parents aren’t real parents.  Members of society may also wrongly conclude that all adoptions are “battles.”

Positive adoption language can stop the spread of misconceptions such as these.  By using positive adoption language, we educate others about adoption.  We choose emotionally “correct” words over emotionally-laden words.  We speak and write in positive adoption language with the hopes of impacting others so that this language will someday become the norm.

Positive Language                           Negative Language
Birthparent                                       Real parent
Biological parent                             Natural parent
Birth child                                        Own child
My child Adopted child;                Own child
Born to unmarried parents           Illegitimate
Terminate parental rights             Give up
Make an adoption plan                  Give away
To parent                                          To keep
Waiting child                                   Adoptable child; available child
Biological or birthfather               Real father
Making contact with                      Reunion
Parent                                               Adoptive parent
Intercountry adoption                  Foreign adoption
Adoption triad                                Adoption triangle
Permission to sign a release        Disclosure
Search                                              Track down parents
Child placed for adoption            An unwanted child
Court termination                         Child taken away
Child with special needs              Handicapped child
Child from abroad                         Foreign child
Was adopted                                   Is adopted